


No goodbyes

by lovelyfluffy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Sad Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, established reaper76
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 17:30:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14049255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyfluffy/pseuds/lovelyfluffy
Summary: After some eavesdropping, Gabriel is under the impression that he's about to be kicked out of Overwatch. He figures he'll save them some trouble by just leaving.





	No goodbyes

Gabriel stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie as he walked down the hall, moving further and further from the med wing. It felt good to have a little bit of normal in him. He could tell that Mercy’s attempts were at least making progress in turning his DNA back to what it was. Still, nothing could change what he’d done. He was a different man now, even if he got all of his physical body back. 

 

He passed by one of the many bedrooms in this wing and saw Genji sitting in meditation.  _ Now there’s a guy who knows something about reforming himself,  _ he thought. Although it occured to Gabriel that he still hadn’t seen much interaction between him and his brother Hanzo, despite Hanzo’s desperate jabs at making things right. Was there a point where making things right just wasn’t possible? Hanzo killed his brother for God’s sake. He pondered the concept that perhaps Hanzo was doomed to be an outcast like him, to be someone who was incapable of being loved by anyone. 

 

Gabriel knew his own transition back into Overwatch was a bad idea. With the things he’d done, no one should have forgiven him anyway and he doubted that Jack or anyone else was really wanting him back. He was probably only asked to rejoin because they needed some extra guns until someone better came along. Some of the new recruits like Ana’s daughter looked really promising. Maybe they were waiting to ask him to leave until the newbies were ready for some major missions alone. 

 

It was particularly hard to watch Jesse in action, since he always considered Jesse like a son to him. While at first Jesse seemed to have missed Gabriel, lately Jesse was avoiding him entirely.  _ Who could blame him?  _ He considered it obvious too that Jack wanted to fake a rekindling of their relationship, probably so he could be free of him later. It was what Gabriel deserved. 

 

As he rounded a corner in the hall, he heard two voices talking nearby in the kitchen.

 

“I just can’t talk to Gabe about it yet. I’m not sure he’s going to get it.”

 

It sounded like Jesse. Gabriel considered heading down the next hall in an attempt to stay away from eavesdropping, but when he heard Jack’s response, he couldn’t resist staying with his ear near the door. 

 

“Stop worrying,” he said gruffly. “He’ll understand. He knows more about these things than you think, McCree.”

 

_ What could Jesse want to talk to him about?  _

 

Jesse sounded flustered. “I’m not so sure about that. I don’t wanna say it wrong.” 

 

“You can’t put this off forever,” said Jack lightly. 

_ Of course _ , thought Gabriel.  _ The time has come.  _ He made a straight bee line for his own room and started to pack a bag. If Overwatch wanted him to leave, he was fine with that. He knew he wasn’t really welcome here and the least he could do for Jesse was spare him the job of forcing him out. The poor kid was probably worried he’d pull a gun on him or something. 

 

He looked down at his hands, which still exuded a small amount of black vapor into the air. Apparently this was as far as the medical process was going to take him, since no doctor in the world would be able to tackle this problem quite like Mercy. He was destined to be a monster and it was silly of him to think he could turn things around. 

 

He shoved clothes and various items into his bag before getting out some paper and a pen. 

 

_ Dear Jack, _

 

_ I’m sorry I stuck around as long as I did. It was selfish of me. Tell Jesse he’s off the hook. I’m not sure where I’m going, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. Please tell Mercy thank you for all she’s tried to do even if she was wasting her time.  _

 

_ Gabriel _

 

He folded the note and left it on his bedside table, next to his favorite photo. It was from before everything went wrong. Gabriel, Jack, and Ana were all huddled into the photo with big smiles. They looked so innocent, not knowing what was going to happen to all of them. He thought for a moment before taking the photo and adding it to the rest of his belongings. 

 

Taking one last look around the room, he breathed in the scent and shrugged. Maybe it was better this way, where he wouldn’t be around to ruin everyone’s lives even further. 

 

With his self hatred giving him some semblance of determination, he grabbed his bags and walked out the door of his bedroom, not stopping until he was all the way outside the base and heading for the garage. What was one more selfish act in the grand scheme of his life? He went to work hot wiring one of the Overwatch vehicles. 

 

It was harder than he remembered. He hadn’t done this sort of thing in a long time and his hands were older now, shakier after the DNA process and likely still adjusting to Mercy’s reversal process. 

 

Time seemed to pass very quickly. This getaway wasn’t going quite as well as he planned. He furrowed his brow and fumbled some more with the car until a voice startled him. 

 

“You know, you could just ask for the keys,” said Jack quietly. 

 

Gabriel sighed. He hadn’t wanted to see Jack in person before he left. He wasn’t sure he could handle the rejection of it all. 

 

“I got your note,” said Jack. He crossed his arms. “I have two things to tell you.” Gabriel didn’t say anything, so Jack continued. “Number one. You’re an idiot.”

 

“Thanks,” said Gabriel, standing up and slamming the door shut. “But I already knew that.”

 

Jack grabbed Gabriel’s arm and pulled him closer. “Apparently you don’t know you’re an idiot or you would know what a big mistake you’re making by leaving here.” He pulled Gabriel even closer, then, so they were just inches apart. “After all we’ve been through, you really think that I don’t want you around?” 

 

Gabriel looked away, breaking the intense stare that they’d settled into. He didn’t deserve this conversation. He didn’t deserve this man. 

 

Jack took Gabriel’s chin in his hand and forced him to look forward. “This is the best I’ve felt in a long time, having you back.”

 

“You’re better off without me,” said Gabriel. His eyes felt wet. “Everyone’s better off without me.”

 

Jack kissed him then, deep and slow like the old days. Gabriel was reminded of so many other kisses, from another time, when there were no monsters or scars or any need for forgiveness. He could smell Jack’s cologne and the natural must he’d always had. 

 

“You,” said Jack as he wiped away a tear from Gabriel’s cheek. “Are the greatest part of my life. I love you.” 

 

Gabriel let himself indulge in this moment, burying his face in Jack’s shoulder while he cried. “I’m not even human anymore,” he said without lifting his head.

 

Jack wrapped his arms around Gabriel and squeezed hard. “I’m sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting. That one’s on me.” 

 

They stayed like that for awhile, in a strong embrace where nothing mattered outside of each other. 

 

“But you were right,” said Gabriel, sinking back into his previous thoughts. “Jesse can’t put that talk off forever.” 

 

“Jesse?” Jack squinted at him and gave him a confused look. “That brings me to the second thing I have to tell you. I do not understand at all what you meant in your note about Jesse. What is this about letting Jesse off the hook? Off the hook from what?” 

 

“I heard you both talking earlier. I could tell he was nervous about being the one to tell me I have to leave Overwatch. You said he can’t put it off forever.” He turned back toward the car, defeated again. “Even if you want me to stay, that doesn’t mean the rest of the team wants me.” 

 

Realization dawned on Jack’s face and suddenly he glared and swatted Gabriel on the arm. It wasn’t too hard, but it stung.

 

“Ow!” he yelped. 

 

Jack swatted him again.

 

“Ow!” Gabriel backed up this time in case a third swat was coming. 

 

“The first one was for eavesdropping. The second one is for being an idiot again.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Is this why you tried to leave? You thought that Overwatch, which is still led by me by the way, was sending Jesse McCree of all people to kick you off the team?” 

 

“Uh..” In retrospect the idea was a little confusing. “I guess so?” was all Gabriel could think to reply. 

 

“Well congrats, Gabe. You could not be more wrong.” He pecked him on the cheek. “You know Jesse cares a lot about you right? He thinks of you like a father.” 

 

“Then why has he been avoiding me?” 

 

“He’s been nervous!” Jack slapped a hand to his forehead. “He wants to ask you for your advice on how to date the Shimada kid.”

 

“Genji?” 

 

Jack swatted him again. “Sweetheart, when Mercy looked at your charts, did she by chance diagnose you as blind? Hanzo, you dope!” 

 

Suddenly a lot of things clicked. Gabriel had seen Jesse talking to Hanzo at training before and throwing on all of his charm, almost to the point where it was awkward. Clearly Jesse was nervous. He felt a little guilty for not even noticing that he liked men. 

 

“Oh.” he said, biting his lip. 

 

“You can handle that later,” said Jack. “For now, let’s go inside. I want to make a plan with you to make sure you have everything you need here. You wouldn’t be the only agent seeing a therapist. Over half the base needs some help in that department. And that includes me. I want-” Jack paused and looked away, unable to finish his sentence.

 

“What?” 

 

“I want to know you’re okay from now on. I want you to check in with me and we need to communicate more. I love you so much. I can’t think about what it would be like to lose you again.” Jack looked uncharacteristically shy for a moment before Gabriel pulled him in this time. 

 

“I’m sorry, Jack.” 

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. 


End file.
